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Jennifer Lawson, aka Mother Gaia

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How to End Complaining

We all know that we complain and my last article, The Pathology of Complaining helped us to understand that complaining is much more than words. It is fully functional and harmful disease of negativity that hurts us both inside and out, both mentally and physically. So how can YOU stop it? Once you have an idea what a complaint truly is you can then find ways to change those statements.

How to Complain Less, By Joshua Becker 

Complaining feeds and breeds a negative response.   https://www.becomingminimalist.com/complain-less/

• It fosters a negative attitude. Complaining draws our attention to the negative aspects and circumstance around us. And focusing on the negatives always brings about greater negativity. Complaining never results in joy—it only sinks us deeper into our misery.

• It negatively impacts those around us. Complaints spread negativity. By focusing on and drawing attention to the problems and discomforts around us, we direct other people towards it too. Misery loves company.

• It doesn’t change our circumstance. Taking action does. But complaining words by themselves do not.

• It disqualifies the value of discomfort in our lives. Discomfort—both physical and emotional—can have profound benefit for our lives. There are countless life lessons that can only be learned by embracing discomfort: patience and perseverance just to mention a few. Become OK with discomfort. You’ll be glad you did.

• It is highly unattractive. It is unenjoyable to spend time around people who constantly highlight the negatives. And not only unattractive, the self-centered emphasis of complaining can be annoying as well.

• It leaves us in victim-mode. One of the greatest obstacles to lasting change is blame. And complaining finds its foundation almost entirely in blame.

There are definitely lots of tips from people out there working hard to make this important change for themselves and to help others as well. There are many different ways to change your habit of complaining. I put together the ones I felt would be most useful and added some of my own. Using a notebook or pad of paper can help you to work through this more effectively. Change is so much easier when you research the problem and understand the plan.

“Instead of complaining that the rose bush is full of thorns, be happy the thorn bush has roses.” ~ Chinese Proverb

Shantideva counsels, “If something can be changed, work to change it. If it cannot, why worry, be upset, or complain?”

What to do instead of complaining and stop this harmful habit:

1. START BY DEFINING WHAT A COMPLAINT IS

• a statement that a situation is unsatisfactory or unacceptable.

• to express dissatisfaction or annoyance about a state of affairs or an event.

• the Greek word translated “complainer” means literally “one who is discontented with his lot in life.” It is akin to the word grumbler.

• a statement of dislike, blame, or judgment that we whine about repeatedly

• an observation with negative feelings attached to it; ex – “It’s cold outside and I hate living in this place.”

• a negative effect on your physical function; ex – “I feel myself slouching and not breathing when I complain.”

• complaining is certainly not a fruit of the Spirit and, in fact, is detrimental to the peace, joy, and patience that come from the Spirit.

• complaining is destructive and debilitating personally and only serves to make our witness to the world more difficult.

• a complaining spirit leads to fighting and quarreling because complaints come from unfulfilled desires, which lead to envy and strife.

Write down your definition of complaining and below it write how you feel after complaining. Do you feel better after complaining? Or worse?

2. DEVELOP AN UNDERSTANDING OF WHY YOU COMPLAIN

• In essence, we complain about whatever meets with our disapproval.

• you’re looking for something, even though you’re not be aware of what it is at the time.

• Sometimes we simply want someone to recognize our suffering

• a common complaint can bond two people who may have nothing in common, but too much complaining would just break down the relationship.

• we may repeatedly complain about our health out of self-pity or the wish to gain others’ sympathy

• We may complain in the hopes that someone will fix our problem, instead of asking someone directly for help

• We complain to vent our emotions and our feelings of powerlessness

• “Venting” is often used to justify ranting about whatever we want, not for actually releasing anything

• because we’re too lazy or frightened to try to solve the problem ourselves.

Write down some reasons why you feel you complain. What is it that you’re gaining from complaining? What are you missing in life that you replace with complaining?

3. TRACK HOW OFTEN YOU COMPLAIN AND WHAT ABOUT

• Change starts with awareness. Once you become aware of your habits you can then take steps to change them.

 

Read More

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Recipe of the Week

Pumpkin Seed Honey Yogurt

Ingredients:

1/2 cup Yogurt -  Organic, unflavored, unsweetened, or Greek, etc

2 Tbsp Pumpkin Seeds - raw, roasted, or seasoned

1 Tbsp Honey - raw and unfiltered is best

Directions:

Mix ingredients together in a bowl and enjoy. 

A wonderfully filling breakfast that is high in protein and low in sugar.

 

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Upcoming Events

 

Dancing Gaia: Nature of Movement & Meditation

Every Saturday @ 8am, Aspen Lodge in Anthem Ranch

Every Tuesday @ 11am, The Avenues at Crofton Park

We’ll begin class with deep breathing, energy building, and gentle stretching warm-ups. Class continues with a unique blend of Tai Chi, Yoga, Qigong, and Tae Kwon Do style movements. Then we finish each class with a cool down and seated hand posture practice. These classes are for residents only. 

Want Dancing Gaia in your community? Send Mother Gaia an email here.

Wellness Education

Classes held at the Eaton Senior Community, Saturdays @ 1:30pm

323 S Eaton St in Lakewood, CO 80226 (open to the public)

What do you get to learn about?

• Nine dimensions health and wellness

• Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual wellness 

• Understanding your body.

• Alternative Medicine — other than surgery and medications

• Ways to improve your health without spending money.

• Cheap and easy remedies to use at home.

• Simple, gentle exercise to improve function.

• Free gifts, snacks, and handouts for attending.

 

Gaia's Wellness Experience

During this amazing full-day event you will experience Dancing Gaia, Wellness Education, Aromacraft, & Herbalcraft all the the beautiful Shadowcliff Lodge in Grand Lake, Colorado.

Join us August 6th, 2017 for a wellness experience you'll never forget!

Click here for more details and to purchase tickets.

 

Looking to try out a class? Mother Gaia offers many great classes here.

How about an unusual birthday party for that open minded teen, loved one, or friend that has everything?

Send Mother Gaia an email and we can schedule it on your time in your space.

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Subscriber Promotions

Offers only for subscribers of Mother Gaia's Newsletter

June: Buy one get one simply moisture lotion when ordering online. Shipping is always included in the price.

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